Ten excuses not to brew potions

#10 - The iPod, the Airport Express and Homecoming

Recovering from credit risk since comrade IIMB-ian on the trading desk refunded Macau loan. Thinking about how to spend the inflow of Mandarin money in the light of country exit in the offing. Impulse buy of the Apple iTouch. Ripping the setup for iTunes out of the air on the way to airport while listening to Mandarin expletives from the taxi driver about Hong Kong traffic and expatriate travellers in general. The great download of Shrek 1,2,3 from the airport net, the conversion to MP4 and burning the iPod. Watching animated movies on flight and getting Mandarin expletives from the airhostess on refusing to respond to her calls for grub. Landing at Dubai airport and sending first emails from inside an aircraft. Laughing at my own kiddishness. Arriving home. Glad it's all over.

#9 - Thrifty or Spendthrift?

Waking up to the scary sound of the new alarm clock in my room. Looking around for people to go shopping for gifts with. Experiencing the all-time lowest of convincing skills. Breaking suitcase in frustration. Travelling to SOGO looking like the kid in Baby's Day Out. Nearly escaping death as the doors closed on the metro. Entering huge hypermarkets stacked one over the other with immense number of branded items all over the place. Hunting from top floor to base floor looking for a map of the place. Paying $1600 for a $2500 suitcase that sold for $4800 online. Perfume shopping with glamorous sales attendants and scenting coffee beans all over the place. Splurging the equivalent of 20,000 native currency on a single day. Feeling high about it. Dragging $5000 worth of items through a tram ride which cost $2 less than the usual $4 that it took for a cab.

#8 - The Review

The beginning of all the hype of the offers. The sole ride to Citibank tower from Island Pacific, where the only sound was the nasal Chinese voice on the radio. And Nattu chewing the proverbial apple. Tensions in creating presentation among numerous assignments from DC, DD and NP. Talk about how more work meant more interest and frustration should be an optimistic sign. Search for pseude presentation templates in the bowels of the computer hard drive. Loss of all templates found to other interns to be left stranded on the island of powerpoint with nothing but a laptop to give hope. Major fight in creating first ever template - with profuse help from God's own lands. Making the presentation with 4 hours of sleep the night before. Pat-on-the-back. Distress at seeing others getting more pats-on-the-back. Realization that it's all stupidity. Post-realization peace.

# 7 - The Great Gambler

Waking up to bad moods and the wrong side of the bed earlier than 9 am on a Saturday morning. The ubiquitous and condescending call from Subbu about how I was unwelcome at Macau and all that. Forced presence, nonetheless. Boat ride to Macau with Latheman, Topper and Subbu. Gaping at snaking bridges that go up and down and whose structures belie realism. Travelling by lift to the tenth highest tower on earth and trying to jump thence. Understanding how weather derivatives make money after plans were foiled. Hesitant entry to the casino at the Venetian. Gambling 20 cents with fellow RBS intern and converting it to $300. Splurging the three hundred and two hundred more on Sic Bo. Planning strategy with expected value greater than nought. Realization that trading on technicals makes no sense. Ferry ride back poorer and wiser. And crazier. 

# 6 - Payday

Getting the only spam email that is welcome - the paycheck link. Jumping with joy with comrade strategist on discovering we got a hundred and ninety dollars more in relocation allowance. Putting never-before efforts into using Bloomberg to convert HKD to INR and revelling at the rise of oil price. Speaking back home for the longest international call ever made, even as fellow interns spiritedly aviated over Lan Kwai Fong.

# 5 - Of dogs and babes

Trip with Puri and the rest of the Kolkattans to this cute little island. 50 year old expats, 25 year old local wives, kids and dogs. That sums up Discovery bay. Trekking on the mountains there. Fellow strategist rediscovering his farmer blood, and planting trees in Hong Kong. Walking back and sitting on the artificial sand on the artificial beach with artificial sea creatures floating about in real sea water.

#4 - The bull, the China, no shop

Accepting mementos all with the seal of the Merrill bull from "mother". Getting escorted out from the cool shelters of human resources by the business manager to the Strategic Solutions Group. Perusal by the Managing Director, and subsequent summing up. Discovery of the pantry, the internet and of how to use the phone. Meeting up with Kolkattan intern and fellow strategic analyst MK. Birth of the cynical banker here.

#3 - Flight to the Orient

Crashing down head first into the spacious Cathay Pacific seats, and taking in the stench of Subbu's nicotine abuse before dozing off. Waking up to find thin-eyed airhostesses pulling Subbu's neck to make the seat upright. Realizing that I had missed dinner, and breakfast, and lost everything that I had paid Rs 37000 for. Calling the airhostess for a glass of orange juice five minutes before landing. Listening to Chinese rebukes outside a martial arts movie as a consequence for the first time. Not liking it.

#2 - Mumbai Mania

Entering the Mumbai office with Subbu, Maggie and Mamta looking like a scene from Kaante. Discovering that Jayanthi Bajpai was a top guy at the company. Sleeping through his monologue. I am Prabh, and you can call me God, he said. Bending steel rods and walking on glass. Tonga-riding with five smartly suited B-schoolers from Marine Drive to the Taj. Realization that that was the wrong place to be, and the tonga ride back to the Taj President. Bargaining from Rs 500 to Rs 300, for a journey that would've taken us Rs 30 by taxi.

#1 - The beginning

Arriving an hour and a half late at the Mumbai airport. Walking out to find amazing buildings looking nothing like the dirthole we expected. Catching the worst possible taxi in vicinity. Fitting in 2 huge suitcases into the dikki. Chal jaayega, bhaai saab. Travelling at 100 kilometres an hour, and reaching the Taj in 40 minutes flat. Getting out alive.